Intimacy issues in dating
While no one promised you that dating would be easy, a partner with personality issues can make things so much harder.In particular it is distressing to have a date who avoids intimacy, invests little in the relationship or simply is never there for you emotionally.The more they “hit on” me, the more I question that they are (a) not attractive enough; (b) have low confidence, which is a turn-off for me; (c) are emotionally needy; or (d) their feelings appear to me to be a feminine trait, and in turn I lose sexual interest.I want to be in a relationship, but I lose all desire after about 3 months of being with someone. Why do I always get turned off when a guy falls in love with me and what can I do about it?Understanding what the other person is facing is the first step to helping that person overcome it.To help your boyfriend learn to trust you, demonstrate your own willingness to be open while creating a judgment-free zone. If he is afraid to be vulnerable, help him feel at ease by showing your own vulnerability first.Vulnerability is a critical part of intimacy, but the fear of vulnerability can run deep, notes psychologist Emma Seppala in the Psychology Today article "Vulnerability, the Secret to Intimacy." A fear of appearing vulnerable is ultimately a fear of rejection.
This is the second installment in a 2-part article series about struggles with intimacy that are relatively common in gay relationships.
read more “Intimacy freak-out.” You’ve seen it before.
You’ve probably encountered it during your dating escapades.
This perceived fakeness can then lead to the rejection that the person fears.
This vicious cycle might have played out numerous times before you ever entered the picture, causing your loved one to retreat further and further behind a self-imposed wall.